ME: * trues to fall into black hole *
BLACK HOLE: I have a boyfriend.
ME: * trues to fall into black hole *
BLACK HOLE: I have a boyfriend.
🌟✨🌾🌿🍃
Friday is just the Tuesday of Monday.
“Are you in line?”
- people who can clearly see you're in fucking line
Creepy fun thing to do:
Make a stranger take a picture of the two of you in the first five minutes of a first date.
The euphoric rush from not allowing replies to clearly rhetorical questions is almost indescribable.
Contrary to anything you've head, the correct chorus of Elton John's “Rocket Man” is not:
🎶Rocket man,
yabba dabba dee doh,
Rocket man!🎶
Yet that is precisely the way I sing it. ...read more
Congrats competing at something dumb.
New Twitter interns starting tomorrow, so do not be surprised by a dip in quality for a few days.
Rock and Roll Fun Fact:
Anyone who puts on Slash's top hat is magically imbued with the power to play the opening riff to “Sweet Child O' Mine.”