People who are offended after you sneeze and they say “God bless you” and you don't say “thank you” couldn't care less if you're dying from plague.

“Here's a new movie starring your favorite actress!”

Yay!

“...and co-starring an actor you find unwatchable!”

Huh. ...read more

@emersonisa
nyc <3
emersonisa

You know when you lay down to tuck your shirt in?

The great thing about being a professional ghost hunter is knowing you can't do a bad job.

If there's anything more fun than watching a despicable person melt down in real time on social media, I'd sure like to see it.

Today has been boring af

At least with a goth girl, you know why they keep trying to get some of your blood.

I've never served time in prison, but I have had to sit through other people's kid's piano and dance recitals.