Don't start fights on social media. That's what families are for.
find me on...
Just punctuated a sentence very sarcastically. So many semicolons…
It starts with building this city on rock and roll.
It ends with an achy breaky heart…
Life is about hating things with the people you love.
I hope the success of your sports team brings you the love you never got from your parents.
REAL ESTATE AGENT SELLING A HOUSE IN A HORROR MOVIE: Now, based on HSA disclosure rules, the seller does have to inform you that the house is haunted by the tortured soul of someone who died horribly.
COUPLE: Is that a breakfast nook? And crown molding? Let’s make an offer. ...read more
It's such a good feeling losing touch with people.
Idea for a non-lethal, incapacitating weapon:
A beam that makes the other army feel like the bottom of their sock is wet.
WAITER: Did everyone save room for dessert?
ME: We're fucking disgusting pigs, bring everything you've got.
What is it with people not wanting to recognize the flaws about them I keep detailing?
The new Haiku pattern is 5-10,000-5.
Please take a personal day today to bang your head against the wall.