If evolution is real, why am I wearing the same clothes as yesterday?
#StupidQuestionsForScientists
If evolution is real, why am I wearing the same clothes as yesterday?
#StupidQuestionsForScientists
Sometimes I feel like people are having kids AT me, not WITH me.
There are 206,000,000 daily active users on Twitter.
I absolutely adore about 0.00000001% of them.
Taste your shitty homemade craft beer? You betcha!
Makes dad come back
#UnlikelyiPhoneFeatures
If you want to make someone better, put sunglasses on them.
Defending horrible people on ANY level will not be condoned. They would walk over you laying in the street without a second thought. This is why we are in this mess- “going high.”
Whenever you're in a board meeting facing a difficult problem, you might try suggesting "Maybe we should all have sex?"
A women's clothing shop taking inspiration from a combination of old western styles and rap duo Kris Kross called “Reverse Cowgirl.”
Being a smarty pants is a gateway to being a blocked smarty pants.
You'll forgive me if I don't seem excited by your new coffee mug with a saying copied from one of my tweets.
When you are defending yourself from obsessive fanatics with no conscience or shame, you need to change the playbook.